Friday Coffee with MAP - March 22, 2024

Hello, and welcome to Friday Coffee with MAP!

There are mental costs to living in the information age. As the internet continues to find new ways to beam a ceaseless stream of news, emails, and content at us at all hours, it is only natural to feel overwhelmed. It is also only natural to seek out the best means of overcoming that feeling of overload. In this week’s piece, Arthur C. Brooks argues that amidst this digital barrage, the single most effective strategy for reclaiming our time and attention is mastering the skill of saying NO. His piece explains how to get good at the skill of saying no, and why developing that skill is a wellness necessity.

Happy reading!

Overwhelmed? Just Say No:
The science of how to stop saying yes to everything—and be happier
_{by Arthur C. Brooks for The Atlantic}

Psychologists have shown that the feeling of being harried and having insufficient time because of busyness is linked to less happiness. The strategic use of no can truly change your quality of life.

But it is not easy to do, and for some it can actually seem like a violent act to say no, even if the request is innocuous. There are a number of natural mental biases we have towards saying yes to things– we want to people-please; we fear the consequences of saying no to someone; we are wary of missed opportunities.

However, scholars have devised experiments to show that those who struggle to turn down requests from others typically overestimate the negative consequences of turning them down. Those who ask things of us will usually be less put out than you expect them to be if you say no to them. You just have to get the knack for saying no instead of yes. Here are some tips for getting better at saying no, especially in the workplace.

1. Start a No Club: Here, Brooks tells the story of a group of scientists who agreed they were overwhelmed with requests for their time, and vowed together to say no more often. They kept each other accountable to this, and saw that they became more efficient as a result. You can also communicate with peers about the power of saying no- creating accountability and also a collaborative checks and balance system to make sure no truly unavoidable or important ask gets unfulfilled.

2. Make no easier: Make no your default option by reframing asks & requests as a request to “opt in,” to a task, rather than something you need to make an excuse to “opt out” of. No becomes easier if you approach things knowing you are not going to choose to participate, and that whoever is making the ask will have to prove why they need you to partake.

3. Make yes harder: Put a framework in place to protect yourself from burdensome asks. Not all of us can have assistants to vet opportunities as Arthur Brooks does, but knowing the arrival of a request can cause a stress reaction means that we can consciously put our phones away or switch windows on the computer when a new request comes in. This gives us time to think and evaluate it. Put friction and obstacles on your path to saying yes.

Of course, requests for your time, attention, and diligence may be unavoidable. But with these tactics in hand, and a new consciousness of the sheer weight these unending requests can have on the mind– we hope you’ll be better prepared to deploy the word that should become your best friend: No.

___________

So tell us: What are some of your tactics for saying no in a world that increasingly asks you to say yes?

We’re looking forward to hearing from you! Have a wonderful weekend.

Thank you,

The MAP Team

10345 W. Olympic Blvd, Suite 110
Los Angeles, CA 90064
OFFICE: 310.601.4095
FAX: 310.388.5484
WEB: www.mapstrategic.com

This email contains links to articles or other information that may be on a third-party website. Advisory Services Network, LLC is not responsible for and does not control, adopt, or endorse any content contained on any third-party website.