Friday Coffee with MAP - June 14, 2024

Hello , and welcome to Friday Coffee with MAP!

This week, we explore the relationship between self-perception and self-improvement. Many of our articles week to week focus on the intentional pursuit of happiness, success, and wellbeing. This week’s article provides a key insight encompassing the pursuit of all three: that growth is happiness. We hope this article reminds us that acknowledging our shortcomings is the first step towards taking action to overcome them.

Happy reading!

"You're Not Perfect - And That's Great News"
_{by Arthur C. Brooks for The Atlantic}

Accepting that you are not perfect– and that no one else is either– is key to opening yourself to the possibility of improving yourself and your life.

Research shows that humans have a tendency to overrate their own qualities and abilities in relation to others. We tend to think we’re better drivers than most everyone else, for instance. This is called “Self-enhancement bias,” and while it can make us feel secure in our abilities/traits– it is not a path to longterm growth or happiness.

For instance, a Journal of Personality and Social Psychology study showed that when college students held an inflated view of their own academic ability, it enhanced their mood and positive affect—that is, they enjoyed happier feelings. But the illusion of superiority did not translate into better academic performance overall.

We face a dilemma: while we aim to uplift ourselves and others, self-enhancement offers only a fleeting relief with potentially lasting negative effects. Here are four healthier things to tell ourselves:

• You’re not perfect, but you’re normal: Imperfection is normal, and admitting it to yourself is healthy. If you never felt sad or inadequate, that would be pretty good evidence that something is wrong with you.
  

• Accept yourself: Treat yourself with compassion; acknowledge your shortcomings without judgement. This makes them easier to start improving upon.
  

• Work to improve: To acknowledge that “I am flawed in this way right now” is not to say “I will always have this flaw.” Self-acceptance is the basis of the pursuit of improvement.
  

• Resist blaming others: Research shows that people with poor emotional self-regulation often blame others for their shortcomings. While this delusion may temporarily alleviate negative feelings, scholars advise that taking responsibility for one's decisions is a more effective long-term strategy for managing negative emotion.

To be truly perfect would cost you a chance to improve- and that would make for a boring, purposeless life!

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So tell us: Do you catch yourself regulating your own “self-enhancement bias”? How would you characterize your desire to improve?

We’re looking forward to hearing from you! Have a wonderful weekend.

Thank you,

The MAP Team

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