Friday Coffee with MAP - April 12, 2024

The Happy Way to Drop Your Grievances

Hello, and welcome to Friday Coffee with MAP!

This week, we’re complaining about the complainers. While the world may seem like an unending parade of things to complain about, excessive complaining can all-too-easily solidify into a habit that is not only irritating for those around you but directly corrosive to your own wellbeing. In this week’s piece, we’ll look at research-backed, highly practical habits for overcoming the urge to complain.

Happy reading!

The Happy Way to Drop Your Grievances
by Arthur C. Brooks for The Atlantic  

Research shows that constant complaining can have an incredibly negative effect on one’s mood, even in moments when they are not confronted with something to complain about. Research also shows that being a complainer can directly harm the happiness & enjoyment of those around you.

Thankfully It is a breakable habit. Here are four, research-based ways to quit complaining.

Judge less, observe more. Complaining is a judgmental act, but you can be intentional about observing without judgment. Reframe minor irritations as simple, unimportant events. and become more of an observer in the game of life. Remember: water off of a duck’s back.

Consider the underlying problem: Constant complaining may indicate deeper issues, such as depression. Be introspective about why you are complaining. Addressing what truly bothers you might diminish the need for complaining about trivial matters like weather or politics.

Be a Stoic: Stoicism involves managing emotions through reason rather than suppressing them. Before complaining, ask if you can change the situation. If you can, don’t waste energy complaining and act in pursuit of the solution. If you can’t change the situation, understand that complaining won't help.

Avoid the grumblers: Surround yourself with positive influences and limit exposure to negativity, both in media and in people. Remember that so much of the media we consume– tv news, social media– are sustained and profitable because they strike at the “complaining” part of the brain.

One last tip: if you wish to stop complaining so much, let those around you know about your intention– you’ll find that your friends will be more than happy to call you out when you go back to your complaining ways!
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So tell us: Do you have any mental rituals or habits that help you overcome the need to complain?

We’re looking forward to hearing from you! Have a wonderful weekend.

Thank you,

The MAP Team

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